Off the Happy Juice

So this is my newest struggle, all of us know that once you get through one thing something else is lurking just around the corner...... 3 years ago I got on and anti depressant anti anxiety med. I was having some really tough struggles after having my two kids. Let me just say I am so thankful for the help I got from these meds, and for the doctor who helped me see that this wasn't just an easy way out of my problems. Man my life was in a fog, and I had a hard time even getting up and dressed every day. So I took some steps to pull myself out of the pit. I also got some Christian counseling and started exercising every day. All these things together really helped me to get out of my funk. Now in the last month I felt the Lord calling me to rely on him fully. I knew that medicine wasn't a life long solution. Nor did I want it to be, so I went to see my doc and he agreed now was a good time to get off the "happy juice" Well It's been tough. Lots and lots of highs and lows. Some days I wake up and don't even feel like getting up. Other days I feel great. but each week I feel a little better. I really like being off these things! I mean I get so much more excited about stuff.....and although I've had some really bad days all in all I'm glad I did it. I'm thankful to God for being strong in my weakness. I have lifted my eyes unto the hills and found that my help truly comes from the Lord. What a wonderful feeling! When I make myself vulnerable to him, stand before him as I am, he really does come and meet me. It's a wonderful thing to experience! I have to say my poor husband has caught the brunt of all the mood swings, I'm sorry for this, he has been very understanding. Wow I love that man.....what a gift. So Here I am, this is me, stripped bare.....I like it.......

Psalm 139

"Lord you have searched me and known me. You know when I sit down and when I stand up; You understand my thoughts from far away. You observe my travels and my rest; you are aware of all my ways. Before a word is on my tongue, you know all about it Lord. You have encircled me; You have placed your hand on me. this extraordinary knowledge is beyond me. It is lofty; I am unable to reach it.
where can I escape your spirit? Where can I flee from your presence? If I go up to heaven, you are there; if I make my bed in Sheol, you are there. If I live in the Eastern Horizon or settle at the Western limits, even there your hand will lead me; Your right hand will hold on to me. If I say "Surely the darkness will hide me and the light around me will become night" even the darkness is not dark to You. The night shines like the day; darkness and light are alike to You.
For it was you who created my inward parts; You knit me together in my mother's womb. I will praise you because I have been remarkably and wonderfully made. Your works are wonderful and I know this very well. My bones were not hidden from you when I was made in secret, when I was formed in the depths of the earth. Your eyes saw me when I was formless; all my days were written in your book and planned before a single one of them began. God, how difficult Your thoughts are for me to comprehend; how vast their sum is! If I counted them, they would outnumber the grains of sand; when I wake up, I am still with You.
Psalm 139:1-18

This has to be one of my favorite passages.....this is the Holman Christian Standard version...I just got it and I've like it so far..... If you are reading this then remember him, for he is with you in the highest of highs and the lowest of lows...."where can you flee from his presence?" He loves you..........