It's tough being a Woman... Really it is...

Disclaimer: I will be complaining in this post.....

My day started at 5:30 this morning.  You see this is the time that my precious wonderful gift of a child wants to wake up.  I had a hard time sleeping last night so I'm not thrilled to see him no matter how big he smiles at me...oh but he is so cute!  I have this feeling like I might cry.  But I suck it up and nurse him, then make the coffee and get ready to spend some time with Jesus.  I'm glad that I do get this time, with Shiloh playing with his toys the house is pretty quiet and I can really focus..... I savor it because I know it won't last.  I find myself rushing and then feel convicted so I try and focus on God..... but in between my prayers of "God help me not to be too prideful today" and " forgive me of my stubbornness"  I can't help but think: wow the floors really need to be mopped, oh did I remember to put the clothes in the dryer? Crap I didn't run the dishwasher last night, is that poop on the floor? (shout out to you Molly) what should I wear to bible study? I hate my body! When am I going to run today?  I'm hungry!  Losing weight is such a pain!  Girls you know the story.  I feel like there are probably a million thoughts racing through my head every minute.  I'm thinking about my friends and what's going on their lives, and my family too, my kids, am I doing a good job of raising them?  Do I suck at it?  How can I improve?  All while using that scrubber thing on the toilet and answering Noah's question of what is the future.  Whew!  And this is about 10 min of one day!  I mean it goes on and on!  Let's face it ladies, it's tough being a woman!  Now it's tough to be a man too, I don't want to take away from that.  But I'm a woman so that is all I can really relate to. Oh and not to mention being a good wife, trying to stay sexy after three pregnancies, and really wanting to be interested in what's going on with them, encouraging them in their careers and just nurturing in general.  It's a privilege to be a wife and a mother I know, and I love my man, but today I've been reflecting on just how much I have on my plate.  It's quite a lot to juggle!  How do I have that Mary heart of just sitting at Jesus' feet all while trying to do all of that work Martha was doing too?  I mean girlfriend was just straighting up right?  I can relate!  But Jesus just blowed her up, so I guess I need to recognize that..... but how?  Maybe my 5am times are just that... but it would help if I could forget all the little things for awhile and just focus on being a daughter of the King for once..... Thanks for listening....Love you all...

Adventures in Child ignoring

 So finally I'm back to writing in my blog after a bout to writers block!  I was so stressed about it, I kept worrying that I wouldn't be funny.....anyways.....I'm baaack mwaaaaaaa.....

So yesterday I took the kids to the Hoover Library, we were downstairs and I ran into a few of my friends so of course being the social butterfly that I am I started visiting with them and ignoring my kids who were getting stir crazy.  Well we decide to go upstairs and we're riding on the elevator but Noah runs away up the stairs.... so still ignoring him I ride the elevator with my friends thinking I'll catch him at the top..... but when we get there he's not there.  So I don't wanna look like a bad mom so I say "oh he just ran over to the kids area to play" and keep talking.  I know what your thinking... what a bad mom... well your right!!  Anyway I send Abbey to look for him and she finds him so they go over to play with the toys.  So my friend asks me can I help her find a book.... I say sure... never mind my two children I'm ignoring right now.  So I'm looking for this book and I hear a child screaming at the top of his lungs.  Of course I think who's loud kid is that... but the more I hear it the more familiar it sounds.... it's Noah... so I run over to him and he had cut his finger on a door, the librarian is trying to help him but he is screaming in her face NOOOOOO NOOOOOO MOMMYYYYY!!!  There is a huge crowd around him and as I walk up I feel like all eyes are on me and every one is wondering where was I when all this happened.  So I take him to the bathroom and calm him down and we make a quick get away.

So here's a lesson: don't ignore your kids when you can tell they are restless.....

I guess it wouldn't be a Newman family outing without at lest one breakdown, and outburst or two, and some injury

Here's to the Summer!  I better stock up on my band aids.... or maybe I'll start wearing sunglasses every where I go and pretending like I don't know who my children are when they're acting up......

Off the Happy Juice

So this is my newest struggle, all of us know that once you get through one thing something else is lurking just around the corner...... 3 years ago I got on and anti depressant anti anxiety med. I was having some really tough struggles after having my two kids. Let me just say I am so thankful for the help I got from these meds, and for the doctor who helped me see that this wasn't just an easy way out of my problems. Man my life was in a fog, and I had a hard time even getting up and dressed every day. So I took some steps to pull myself out of the pit. I also got some Christian counseling and started exercising every day. All these things together really helped me to get out of my funk. Now in the last month I felt the Lord calling me to rely on him fully. I knew that medicine wasn't a life long solution. Nor did I want it to be, so I went to see my doc and he agreed now was a good time to get off the "happy juice" Well It's been tough. Lots and lots of highs and lows. Some days I wake up and don't even feel like getting up. Other days I feel great. but each week I feel a little better. I really like being off these things! I mean I get so much more excited about stuff.....and although I've had some really bad days all in all I'm glad I did it. I'm thankful to God for being strong in my weakness. I have lifted my eyes unto the hills and found that my help truly comes from the Lord. What a wonderful feeling! When I make myself vulnerable to him, stand before him as I am, he really does come and meet me. It's a wonderful thing to experience! I have to say my poor husband has caught the brunt of all the mood swings, I'm sorry for this, he has been very understanding. Wow I love that man.....what a gift. So Here I am, this is me, stripped bare.....I like it.......

Psalm 139

"Lord you have searched me and known me. You know when I sit down and when I stand up; You understand my thoughts from far away. You observe my travels and my rest; you are aware of all my ways. Before a word is on my tongue, you know all about it Lord. You have encircled me; You have placed your hand on me. this extraordinary knowledge is beyond me. It is lofty; I am unable to reach it.
where can I escape your spirit? Where can I flee from your presence? If I go up to heaven, you are there; if I make my bed in Sheol, you are there. If I live in the Eastern Horizon or settle at the Western limits, even there your hand will lead me; Your right hand will hold on to me. If I say "Surely the darkness will hide me and the light around me will become night" even the darkness is not dark to You. The night shines like the day; darkness and light are alike to You.
For it was you who created my inward parts; You knit me together in my mother's womb. I will praise you because I have been remarkably and wonderfully made. Your works are wonderful and I know this very well. My bones were not hidden from you when I was made in secret, when I was formed in the depths of the earth. Your eyes saw me when I was formless; all my days were written in your book and planned before a single one of them began. God, how difficult Your thoughts are for me to comprehend; how vast their sum is! If I counted them, they would outnumber the grains of sand; when I wake up, I am still with You.
Psalm 139:1-18

This has to be one of my favorite passages.....this is the Holman Christian Standard version...I just got it and I've like it so far..... If you are reading this then remember him, for he is with you in the highest of highs and the lowest of lows...."where can you flee from his presence?" He loves you..........