Adventures in Weight Loss and severe Muffin Top

August 3, 2008 I tipped the scales at 187. That was before I had my third baby. I was hoping the baby would take some of that weight with him. It turns out he only weighed 5lbs 8oz. Are you kidding me! Too bad I couldn't give birth to my butt. I was still in shock that I could actually gain that much weight. I've always been slimmer. So when I went from 135 to 187.... well I was floored. After much thought on the subject I realized that I had gotten pregnant after a very painful year. My sister in law had just passed away, and I was still recovering. Unfortunately recovering meant lots of Purple Onion, Ben and Jerry's, and french fries from Arby's. Put that together with a pregnancy, and well, you get about 60lbs of fattness!

September 2008. It's time to start doing something about this weight. I don't even recognize myself in the mirror. I look more like the michelin man with all these layers. The biggest problem I have is all the nursing was making me so hungry! They say you need an extra 500 calories per day when you're nursing. 500? that's it? I could eat that many calories in my sleep! That's not even one pint of ice cream! (Nobody really only eats one serving of ice cream, do they?) Anyway I was not cleared for exercise yet, so I was walking a little with the baby, and eating plenty, you know, to keep up with the nursing. Peanut m&m's are great for breast milk, didn't you know? At this point I was 176lbs

October 2008. My first trip to Target. I bought a pair of jeans. Size 17. Who knew these sizes existed! I felt horrible and cried the whole way home. My friend gave me her "fat jeans" to wear. I couldn't fit into them. I couldn't fit into someone Else's fat jeans..... major low point. Still holding 176.

November 2008. thanksgiving is coming and I'm giving thanks for all the layers to keep me warm. I get my hair cut short which only emphasizes my chubby cheeks, on my face and my butt. I'm still holding the same weight and disgusted at my younger sister who seems to never be able to cover up her mid driff. And it's a skinny one. Ugh! Also my older sister just hit her goal weight. Great for her! Yadda Yadaa Yadda. No seriously, I was happy for them, in a cynical kind of way. On the upside I have made a new friend who is going to train with me for a half marathon. I'm thankful to make a great friend in Molly, even if she's a beautiful blond with a rockin bod. I'll forgiver her for that because she loves to read and makes me laugh. So I feel I'm on the way to weight loss success. Too bad running can't cancel out Cool Ranch Doritos....

December 2008. Christmas Parties, cookies, wine, eggnog, cookies, cake, cookies. And of course the Pumpkin Spice Latte at Starbucks..... Only a million calories. At least I haven't gained any weight. But I haven't lost any either. And running is very tough to do when your thighs rub together and make your pants bunch up a the crotch. Shiloh is still nursing like a champ and I'm still eating like one. I ring in the new year with red velvet cupcakes and champagne. But I'm fasting sugar for the next 3wks so I feel justified.

January 2009. Still running. Still struggling with weight and food. I can fit into a size 14 jeans, but with plenty of muffin top to go around. Anyone want some? I celebrate my 27th birthday and 9 yr wedding anniversary. Cake!

February 2009. Valentines day. Candy, cookies, treats galore. No more fasting so bring on the sweets. Still running and completely puzzled at why I can't loose weight. I mean, I see plenty of skinny women eating sweets..... what's the deal??

march 2009. More of the same. I have a new weight loss friend as my sister in law Betsy just had a baby so we're in the same boat. I giver her my 17's...... they are too big. Hell!

April 2009. I run a marathon 15 minutes faster than I planned. Woo hoo! And I'm at 170. So let me get a woop woop! It was a great time with friends and little Shiloh came along for the ride. I'm feeling more optimistic about this weight thing.

May 2009. I go to Abbey's end of the year party and feel like a huge beast in comparison to other moms. This is difficult. Wish I was my old self.

June 2009. I stop nursing and finally feel like I can get this weight off. I quickly loose 5lbs, leaving me at 165. I finally start monitoring my diet. you know, no more pop tarts, cookies, candy....... more like eggs, whole wheat toast, salads, veggies, fruit, nuts, grilled meat. I'm fine with eating these things. I love them. But I also love bbq chips and cheezits, here in lies the problem. Try and substitute blueberries for chips.... nope, doesn't work. Blueberries are good. But so are cheezits.

July 2009. Summer is here and I feel like a whale in my swimsuit. I'm holding the same weight but finding it hard to loose. My eating is ok but still not consistent. I usually start out great, but really have a hard time around 3pm. That's when I get the munchies. And not for baby carrots. This month we have Shiloh dedicated. It was a sweet day and I did like my dress. Things are looking up

August 2009, I realize my son is one year old and I've only lost about 10-15 lbs of baby weight. PANIC! I join the gym. When I go I wonder if any of the guys notice me. Probably not. But they did notice the huge booger hanging out of my nose one day. DAMN! I just can't win.

September 2009, I'm down a couple of lbs. maybe 163.5. The scale is my mortal enemy. I have dreams of throwing it against the wall or off my balcony. I cannot do this though because it is what grounds me and keeps my from ordering that 470 calorie scone at Starbucks. I'm beginning to think that these people who loose large amounts of weight are heroes. It is so hard. I think they are rock stars.

October 2009 a group of friends are training for the Vulcan 10k. I start meeting them to run. This is a great encouragement and I'm excited to do this race. After completing it I get an email with my pictures. Yea, I should not have worn those shorts. Look out for thunder thighs! Encouragement over. I'm beginning to think that this is my new body and will be forever. I cry myself to sleep many nights.

November 2009. I do a cleanse that gets me down to 155. This is awesome! I feel like I can really do this and hit the gym and the pavement pretty hard. My eating is becoming more consistent. I put a little bit of the weight back on which is normal for a cleanse.

December 2009. The holidays kept me from really loosing but I managed to maintain. I'm excited about my anniversary trip with my husband in February and vow to loose some weight before I go. New York baby! Bagels!

January 2010. I celebrate my 28th birthday and anniversary! I'm down to 150 and feeling like I can really do this. Unfortunately no guys at the gym give me any glances, only the creepy dude at Bruno's. Oh well. This month I have a miscarriage. There is not much to say but it was terribly sad. To try and explain would be a whole other blog post. Comfort food.

February 2010. New York is a great distraction for me. Things start to feel ok. I start using a calorie counter and find success. Down a few more lbs in no time.

March 2010. Shiloh is 20 months and I have gone from 187 to 147. It's been a long road and I'm still not there yet. I'm proud of my achievements so far. We run the Seaside half marathon and I am 30 minutes faster than when my muffin top ran a half the year before! Wahoo! I buy a pair of jeans size 8. Single digits baby! And only 12 lbs to go until I hit pre baby weight. Wow. People are starting to notice and everyone is so supportive. Me and my muffin top are truly blessed.

April 2010. I'm looking forward to finishing up this almost 2yr long stint of dieting. I am tired of trying to loose weight. I'm so sick of salads. Some days it's easy and some days it's not. Did you know an apple at 30g of sugar? That's crazy. And a Moe's homewrecker is like 800 calories. Maybe more. Ignorance is bliss. But I'm working hard and having fun with my running again now that I can do it without feeling like my butt is going to hit someone in the face from bouncing around so much. All in all it is so worth it.

More updated to come on the status of my muffin top.